When I hit the water all the comments of “it's lovely once you're in” hit me as hard as the solid block of ocean. I automatically gasped, swallowed a lungful of water and kicked for the surface in one jerking movement.
I'm looking at these two together, for I think they are actually in the same paragraph! And they're convincing and vivid - so now I want to know what you're there for, and who the others are. Can you make that clear in the next bit?
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I'm looking at these two together, for I think they are actually in the same paragraph! And they're convincing and vivid - so now I want to know what you're there for, and who the others are. Can you make that clear in the next bit?
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